The Other Side of Life

Many experts are of the opinion that very soon machines will be taking over our jobs. I am happy to report that as per my calculations, these experts are quite precisely wrong. At least as far as India is concerned. Take the self-driving cars that the tech world is so pumped about. I am willing to bet my car's never used 5th gear on this, that these over-hyped machines will not even survive the 3 km stretch from Silk Board to Koramangala in Bangalore. Here it is, cruising along at a glorious 6 kmph, with all its sensors showing a safe cruise ahead because the traffic light says green, when all of a sudden a hand pops out bang in front of the dashboard. It is, of course, the royal pedestrian (and 17 more people who decide to follow this man, as he leads them to freedom into the other side of the road), whose need to cross the road is so paramount a requirement, that the world must come to a grinding halt and watch the procession, led by "the hand", cross the road int...

Some part of me believes that inanimate objects have life and feelings. Psychologists apparently took time out to actually name this phenomenon - "Animistic Thinking", it seems. But I go a step forward. Somehow, I believe that inanimate objects don't just have feelings, they are probably far more sensitive than us humans. If vehicles in traffic jams could talk, I am sure this is what they are discussing: Bike to car: "I am sorry, I didn't mean to scratch you. My boss is on an ego trip. Someone needs to break this to him - he won't fit in this tiny gap." Truck to Scooter being driven by a lady: "Oops. Oops. Oops. I am sorry. I am so sorry. I scared you, didn't I? I am so embarrassed. This half educated nit driving me thinks it's fun to act intimidating on road. I am so sorry." Autorickshaw to everyone on the road:  "Watch out! My boss is on a roll.  Sorry Ma'am! Sorry boss! Arrey, I said sorry. ...

Last week, I became a part of a revolt. Unknowingly, unwittingly, I became a part of a mob. It seemed like a turning point in my life of sorts. It so happened that I was driving along the famed Silk Board Junction in Bangalore during peak hour traffic.  For the unacquainted, in Bangalore, Silk Board is the equivalent of a black hole. It is forever in a jam, be it morning, evening, night, Saturday afternoon when the whole world naps, Sunday night when people retire early to bed - It doesn't matter to Silk Board traffic, it is in a perpetual jam mode. In fact, we have a famous joke here: Interviewer during job interview: Where do you see yourself 5 years from now? Job Seeker: Hopefully, i would have crossed Silk Board traffic. Interviewer: Wow, you dream big. You are hired. You get the picture? That's how it is here. Anyway, so I was driving along Silk Board and one of the crossings there, was being manually managed by a Traffic Policeman. A...

If I had to pick a low point in Indian advertising, I would pick Radio ads. I spend 2 hours listening to radio everyday and this is the split of the listening content: 3% - Good songs 17% - Songs that are so bad, you would rather scratch your nails on a blackboard and wince in irritation than listen to these songs 10% - RJs talking, most of whom I don't mind at all 70% - Ads. So many ads. Random ads. Bad ads. Ads. Ads. And Ads. In fact, the ads are so bad, that I didn't even want to add my sarcastic comments to them. They are funny in themselves. (But of course, I just had to add my comments too). I collected the best samples from Bangalore radio ads. Have a look: Ad 1: Husband: Honey, do you realize how much time we spend indoors? I wake up in the bedroom - indoors, sit in a car and go to office - indoors, attend meetings - indoors, work - indoors and come home to... Wife: ..Indoors. Oh my god, yes! It's the same with the kids! Husband: An...

In case you are wondering, I did not ignore the blog for 2 months for no reason. I spent this time doing detailed analysis on mundane things in life. For instance, Traffic. When you spend as much time as I do, driving around in traffic, you know that this research is a fruit of painful laborious hours of intense thinking and introspection, most of which happened during traffic jams, while honking at someone and wondering in no less words, why, god, why. And then the answer dawns. After 60 days of day in, day out jams, 130 hours spent waiting for the red to turn green, the answer dawns. It's all because of us. Only we are to blame for the jams. And hence, this research. See, my logic is simple. Sure, our infrastructure sucks. Sure, the roads are bad. Sure, traffic police is incompetent. But are we sure, the entire problem is them? And not those 4 fingers pointing towards us? Hence, I present to you 5 small things, which I believe, each of us should diligently...