The Other Side of Life

I grew up in Delhi. People often ask me if I miss the city. I don't. I don't miss the Delhi of today. I do miss the Delhi I grew up in. And specifically, I miss some feelings. One of those was the day the weather changes. You see, Delhi has been blessed with 4 distinct seasons, unlike many parts of Southern India (including Hyderabad, where I live now). But there is a day when the switch from hot to cold and cold to hot happens. You cannot miss it. In October/November, just after Diwali festivities, you'll still be gorging on dry fruits and sweets when you wake up one morning, breathe in and feel a slight shiver. That's the day the winter sets in. You pull out the naphthalene ball induced winter wear. Half sweaters first. Full sleeve shirts. The winter uniform. The whole jazz of it. This works for 2 weeks before the full winter drama starts. And then again, one day in March, just around Holi, when school exams are wrapping up, you wake up and suddenly, the comforter (or...

I have written about Schitt's Creek earlier on this blog.  It was literally the show that kept many of us in good spirits during Covid. And now, getting myle going through my endless feeding sessions. I absolutely love the understated humour in that show.  The other day, I was thinking about Moira Rose and I wondered what a hoot backstage must have been just watching her exaggerated character come to life. A bit like Kramer in Seinfeld.  And the very next day, I heard the news of the demise of Catherine O'Hara, the actress behind the amazing Moira.  The only way to pay respect to the genius is with her own scenes. For me, her most iconic dialogue has to be this: Just the sheer delivery of that dialogue 🙏 Few characters are as amazing as this one.  You'll be missed. Thanks for giving us Moira. She will help us this lifetime. Cheers Preeks 

In the spirit of writing without AI slop, I am typing this directly on the phone. No AI has been harmed.  ********************** I am not making any conclusions here, but this is a fact: 15 days since new baby came home. 15 days since my phone has charged a full 100% .  I know, correlation not causation and all that. But still. There is no time for anything any more. Every waking moment is with baby or 3 year old. If I am with baby, 3 year old is left out. If I am with 3 year old, I am not looking at baby and wracked with guilt. With first kid, you enjoy luxuries like sleep when the baby does. Now it is more like play with other kid when baby sleeps. When both of them sleep, be awake to feed the baby.  The poor phone goes for charging and is pulled out before it ever reaches 50%. Check something. Buy something. Engage kid 1.  In case you didn't get it, the phone is a metaphor. I am the phone. 15 days since I charged 100%. That's right.  As I type this, the phon...

I promised I won't use any form of editing, hence typing this directly on the phone. No AI has been harmed in producing this piece. I hold some strange contrasting views on becoming a mother these days. Call it postpartum hormone induced clarity.  On the one hand, I have come to believe that what a woman's body goes through during pregnancy and delivery is just beyond insane. I don't think it can be or should be explained. On the rare occasions, I go to Instagram, I see all these posts directed at me telling me what happens to the body postpartum. Nothing comes close to the real deal. Just the whole precision with which the system works. Growing a new body from scratch, possibly a different blood group. The whole delivery process. The pain, the labour push, the whole few hours of this. Even if noone lifts a finger, in most cases, the baby will come out. Breastfeeding starting like on a clock in most cases. It's just madness if you think about it. And the best part is, e...

Another year to an end! It's been a happening year. I spent 9 out of 12 months pregnant. And now we have added Lego junior to our collection, as of 2 weeks ago.  Like they say, you have a second kid because you assume you understand parenting now. But they forget to mention you are not the same parent. You are now a twice over parent. The pressure of managing 2 kids, how your older kid will never look small again, just managing your time between both. It's like a mental tug of war.  A good one I guess. 2 weeks is too early to say that. But then again, the only thing I've understood about parenting is that predictions don't work.  The other thing that has taken over our lives this year is AI. I was an early adopter and now also quickly becoming an early critique, especially when it comes to writing. LinkedIn is now just AI slop. Same tone. Same structure of sentences. Same conclusions. Last night when I was thinking about updating this blog, it occurred to me this could ...

I cannot believe we are at year end again. (I can believe this is the first line of the post, as it is every year these last few years :D) A whole year went by again and I did not blog.  The good news is, I didn't expect to blog here this year at all. Low expectations keep me happy. I did keep writing every once in a while on LinkedIn, but to be honest, I still don't feel the flow I used to.  Back in the day, when blogging was king, around 2009-10, I remember, some of us used to post everyday. Some of comments are literally - firssssst. We would compete to be the first to comment on each others' posts. And now I see only dessert like blogs, with no new content.  I digress, though. I came, as always, to document what my year was like. 2024 has to be the fastest year. We started the year in Bangalore, just moving into a new house which we loved. By March, we were packing bags to move to Hyderabad. Usually there are lofty reasons for such moves - jobs, business etc. We moved...

An year with zero posts. That has to be a new low for this blog! 👀 Literally. My last post was about 2022 year end.  In my defence, it has been an year.  In 2022, I became a Mom and thought that was overwhelming.  In 2023, I became a Working Mom and realised what overwhelming really means. I am not the first person to say this and definitely not the last - I don't know how Moms do it. All of it. I don't know how stay at home moms keep their sanity. I don't know how moms who go to office manage their guilt. I don't know how work from home moms balance. To be clear, I know its hard for Dads too. But I am going to talk about Moms just because I am one now. I am now a work-from-home Mom with an 18 month old baby. I am very lucky that my company is flexible. But that also means, there are no boundaries. I am working, sometimes with Lego on my feet. I am playing with him sometimes, while chatting with a colleague on Slack. My actual work happens only after I put him to sleep...

Just like that, it is time for my annual year end post. I would be lying if I said it's been a year. Like life changing. The first half of the year was marked by the pregnancy, COVID, waddling through life like a penguin, taking it easy at work for the first time in my life, eagerly waiting for little Lego to come join us, not knowing how it was going to be once he comes, being pampered like there's no tomorrow. And then came May, bringing with it our little bundle of joy, Lego. Just like that, life was overhauled. The first 2 months were difficult. Like zombies we took care of the Lego, making sure his needs are met and he settled into life outside the womb. And gradually, like an onion being peeled, everyday started bringing more and more joy. When he laughed for the first time, when he rolled over, when he hugs, when he pretends to kiss, when he sings, when he showers his love on us like we are all there is in this world - the heart just overflows. The second half of the yea...

Having a baby is so many levels of discoveries daily, it never ceases to amaze. But somewhere in those big changes that keep happening every single day are small moments that just melt your heart.  Little Lego turns 5 months old today. I thought I should write down some of those small moments before he turns older and in the new discoveries, I forget what made me so happy in those moments. For a while, Lego believed all music originated from Mummy. Every time he heard something melodious, he would look at me. That's because I would sing a lot to him. But that look he would give me was precious. Even if someone sang something nice on TV, he would look towards me. For a few days there, I was the best singer on earth for someone! When he was just a month old, he loved the light from the window. Every morning, he would lie on the bed beside me and stare out of the window, have conversations with the sun. That was all it took to entertain him back then! He gleams when he is happy! Like ...

One of my all time favourite snippets from a book has to be the argument about existence of God, from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Context: The book has many hypothetical alien species, one of which is the babel fish. A Babel Fish when put in the ear automatically translates everything someone says in any language to a language you understand. Discussing about the existence of this amazing species, the author says: “Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mind-bogglingly useful could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers have chosen to see it as the final and clinching proof of the non-existence of God.  The argument goes something like this: "I refuse to prove that I exist,'" says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing."  "But," says Man, "The Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own argu...

So in May this year, I attained the distinction of becoming a mother to an adorable munchkin and with that, I now feel obligated to fulfil my duty of occupying the niche intersection of being a mother and a behavioral scientist. What does that mean? At some point during the first few days of becoming Mom, surrounded by the daze of sleeplessness, pumped up on hormones which didn’t know where to go, with emotions all over the place and suddenly faced with the responsibility of a helpless, little pink breathing mass, I found myself struggling to answer three questions: The warm glow of pregnancy vanished before I could blink. Pregnancy was glamorous. Motherhood didn’t seem to be. The mood swings, the sleeplessness, the guilt, the confusion, the uncertainty, the lack of even the semblance of a schedule. I wondered, why don’t women share how hard the initial few days of motherhood really are? Most mothers I spoke to before my delivery would share some snippets of their experiences, but alw...

My baby blog is a teenager now. 13 years old! So as it happens with every mom, I got an itch and decided I needed another baby. A real one this time. Sorry, bad introduction, but real deal! Introducing little Lego!  Lego arrived in May this year and has kept us on our feet since. I'm tired, exhausted and sleep deprived but surprisingly happy. Why Lego as his blog name? Because Legolas is our most favourite character from LOTR. And like little Lego blocks, this guy is helping us build a small little world of our own.  Now seemed like a good time to get back to blogging given how overwhelming and simultaneously fulfilling motherhood can be. Hence, making this attempt to introduce Lego to my secret blog world early on so I can use this space to write about this new role we have been cast into. That's all for now though. We shall be back once we have a sleep schedule that seems vaguely human.  Till then, lots of love from Preeks and Lego

Or rather, my house has a mood. I wish I was exaggerating. We shifted to this house last year in June, during the pandemic. We had specific requirements. We didn't know how long we were  going to be working from home, so we wanted a good view. After much searching, this is the view we ended up with: The colors of the water change by the hour: It gets spectacular in the evenings: And dramatic when it rains: Not showing off, but this is not a bad view to live with. We hang out on the window, instead of watching TV. And we get amazing breeze from the sea. On most days, we don't even turn on the fan. In Singapore, not turning on fans and air conditioning is like an influencer not going on social media for an hour. Improbable. And yet, we didn't! The problem is, its all dependent on the mood of the house. Almost like the house is a child. A child who has a talent, but refuses to show it when guests come. When we first moved here, we were excited to have guests over and show off ...

 ...Durust Aaye That was the theme of 2021 for me. Realising some things late but feeling happy about realising these. For instance:  Life is not measured by success at work. Reading more books is not as important as reading meaningfully. It's ok to start from scratch and learn something. Taking a break is good. Not having clarity isn't necessarily bad. Eating consciously is good. Movies are long and patience is important. Entertainment need not make me think. Dumb jokes are good enough for me. Social media is a waste of time. In other words, I have become old. Or, to put it in more flattering terms, I have wisened. 😇 Other than that, 2021 was alright. I finally got to come to India towards the end. And that's all that matters. Dear 2022, as always, keep it simple - I want more family time, less digital, more real world. Rest of the things will fall in place.  Here's to a more fulfilling 2022 for everyone. Hope it is really back to normal now. Done with new normals. Ju...

My outrage about moral outrage deserves a part 2. And here it is. Taking an action has a lot of impact on how someone feels about a situation.  I am thirsty, I drink water and I feel better. I am thirsty, I don't drink water and I will be uncomfortable. I am hungry, I eat food and I feel better I am hungry, I don't eat food and I feel cranky. When you don't take action, the feeling persists, like a sore pain. And then over time, it festers into an seething anger because the mind will just amplify and focus on the discomfort, even if it not so bad.  What happens when you cannot take an action? You tell yourself taking a stand and showing anger is the only thing you can do and you let your brain do that. Which leads us to this: Revolutionaries are the ones whose names are in history books - Bhagat Singh, Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela. Closer to our times, Greta Thornberg (She actually acts on what she says and never flies). They felt outrage about something and took a strong...