The Other Side of Life

In crass Hindi, this moment would have been aptly defined as "Laut ke buddhu, ghar ko aaye".  Exact translation would mount to "Fools return home" and that's what this post is. So, after taking a break from work, doing a second Masters, getting a job in Singapore and moving countries, I am back on the blog.  Who would have thunk? An year back, I had no idea this is what I would be doing in an year. But then again, do we know what we will be doing an year from now?  Lesson learnt. No planning, no guessing.  Just keep exploring, keep doing new things, keep learning, keep meeting new people. Things will happen. Trust. Like a fool (who returned home!) So, while I discover this part of my life, Singapore, I thought I need the blog more than the blog needs me. Because moving countries is not in the least as glamorous as it sounds.  There's the whole deal with selling all belongings which you have hoarded lovingly over the years. A...

I still remember the total Solar Eclipse of 1995 vaguely. It was on Diwali that year and it was visible to the naked eye in India. We got those special viewing glasses and made a mini-picnic out of the day.  I can't remember seeing too many eclipse visibly after that. Unsurprisingly, yesterday's lunar eclipse was big on my agenda. Only problem - my laziness did not keep pace with my excitement. So, when I started seeing the red moon and people walked in with their cameras and tripod stands, I was ridden with guilt. I ran upstairs, only to discover my camera was not charged. And that the husband never taught me how to use the tripod. So while I ruminated on this, the earth's shadow came, took bites of the moon, gulped it in all, made it red, and stealthily, left the scene to leave us with a supermoon. And I got none of it on my camera. However. I woke up this morning at 6:30 am and looked out of the balcony, to see the supermoon hanging over the city, looking so gor...

Many experts are of the opinion that very soon machines will be taking over our jobs. I am happy to report that as per my calculations, these experts are quite precisely wrong. At least as far as India is concerned. Take the self-driving cars that the tech world is so pumped about. I am willing to bet my car's never used 5th gear on this, that these over-hyped machines will not even survive the 3 km stretch from Silk Board to Koramangala in Bangalore. Here it is, cruising along at a glorious 6 kmph, with all its sensors showing a safe cruise ahead because the traffic light says green, when all of a sudden a hand pops out bang in front of the dashboard. It is, of course, the royal pedestrian (and 17 more people who decide to follow this man, as he leads them to freedom into the other side of the road), whose need to cross the road is so paramount a requirement, that the world must come to a grinding halt and watch the procession, led by "the hand", cross the road int...

Some part of me believes that inanimate objects have life and feelings. Psychologists apparently took time out to actually name this phenomenon - "Animistic Thinking", it seems. But I go a step forward. Somehow, I believe that inanimate objects don't just have feelings, they are probably far more sensitive than us humans. If vehicles in traffic jams could talk, I am sure this is what they are discussing: Bike to car: "I am sorry, I didn't mean to scratch you. My boss is on an ego trip. Someone needs to break this to him - he won't fit in this tiny gap." Truck to Scooter being driven by a lady: "Oops. Oops. Oops. I am sorry. I am so sorry. I scared you, didn't I? I am so embarrassed. This half educated nit driving me thinks it's fun to act intimidating on road. I am so sorry." Autorickshaw to everyone on the road:  "Watch out! My boss is on a roll.  Sorry Ma'am! Sorry boss! Arrey, I said sorry. ...

I was flying in a horribly delayed flight on my much haunted Mumbai-Bangalore circuit yesterday. After sitting on the runway for nearly 1.5 hours, the passengers started complaining and shouting at the air hostess. She smiled and tried to pacify them somewhat and went back to her corner behind the cockpit. From where I sat, I got a private viewing into what happens behind the scenes.  She went there and slammed the tray angrily. Her co-steward patted on her back and pulled her cheek to humour her. Suddenly, some irksome passenger pressed the calling bell and she turned back - Full smile back on. I was amazed. Like, really really amazed. I have never ever thought about airhostesses as this human. Of course, they get angry. Of course, they find some passengers irritating. Of course, they bear the brunt of fog in Delhi causing delay of flight to Amritsar, which adds up to the return flight to Delhi and then the flight from Delhi to Pune and from Pune to Mumbai and from M...

Amongst the many mysteries of the human mind, the one that will go on to enthrall curious psychologists and social behavior scientists for long, will be the innate hurry the human being is in, while deboarding a flight. There is almost no logic on earth that can explain that impatience. For the longest time, I thought this was a very Indian thing. But on a flight to Rome, I had that same familiar nudge from my co-passenger - "Go, or let me go." and I realized, it's not an Indian thing, it's a human thing. On one of my numerous Mumbai-Bangalore trips, I decided to design an experiment. I genuinely wanted to know what hurrying up in those few minutes leads to - Do you progress in life faster, do you get promoted, is your work-life balance better, are you happier and the other not-so philosophical questions. So this time when my excited co-passenger nudged me to give way, when the flight tires had barely even experienced the friction on the runway that caus...

Last week, I became a part of a revolt. Unknowingly, unwittingly, I became a part of a mob. It seemed like a turning point in my life of sorts. It so happened that I was driving along the famed Silk Board Junction in Bangalore during peak hour traffic.  For the unacquainted, in Bangalore, Silk Board is the equivalent of a black hole. It is forever in a jam, be it morning, evening, night, Saturday afternoon when the whole world naps, Sunday night when people retire early to bed - It doesn't matter to Silk Board traffic, it is in a perpetual jam mode. In fact, we have a famous joke here: Interviewer during job interview: Where do you see yourself 5 years from now? Job Seeker: Hopefully, i would have crossed Silk Board traffic. Interviewer: Wow, you dream big. You are hired. You get the picture? That's how it is here. Anyway, so I was driving along Silk Board and one of the crossings there, was being manually managed by a Traffic Policeman. A...

If I had to pick a low point in Indian advertising, I would pick Radio ads. I spend 2 hours listening to radio everyday and this is the split of the listening content: 3% - Good songs 17% - Songs that are so bad, you would rather scratch your nails on a blackboard and wince in irritation than listen to these songs 10% - RJs talking, most of whom I don't mind at all 70% - Ads. So many ads. Random ads. Bad ads. Ads. Ads. And Ads. In fact, the ads are so bad, that I didn't even want to add my sarcastic comments to them. They are funny in themselves. (But of course, I just had to add my comments too). I collected the best samples from Bangalore radio ads. Have a look: Ad 1: Husband: Honey, do you realize how much time we spend indoors? I wake up in the bedroom - indoors, sit in a car and go to office - indoors, attend meetings - indoors, work - indoors and come home to... Wife: ..Indoors. Oh my god, yes! It's the same with the kids! Husband: An...

When I was little, I think in class 1 or 2, we had a very nice story in English. It was called "Kachu's Shirt". Kachu was an absent minded, slightly stupid, but very nice man. One day, his mother gifted him a nice blue chequered cloth and told him to get it stitched as a shirt for his birthday. Kachu was delighted. He clutched the piece of cloth and ran to his favourite tailor. The tailor could see Kachu was excited. He spent some time taking measurements of Kachu's arms, his waist, his chest. Then in a typical darzi style, he stuck his pencil end in his mouth and started interrogating Kachu. "Full Sleeves or cut sleeves?" "Cut" "Long or short?" "Long" "2 buttons on the collar or 1?" "2" "Pocket?" "Haaan. Of course I want a pocket. I will keep all change there. Also, my comb. Maybe I can keep a photo of myself there. A few toffees too." The tailor ...

Duration of Exam: 30 minutes Please write your Roll Number clearly. Subject: Real Life Math Skills Question 1: "Ms. X lives in Bangalore. Her office is 15 km away from home. She leaves the house at 08:00 am, in a good mood, at 60 kmph. Within 1 km of her house, she runs into an Auto Rickshaw going in the opposite direction, without a care in the world. Refer diagram for details: The auto-rick continues driving at 30 kmph and passes by, while Ms X slows down to 5 kmph, with lots of honking behind her. She has now added atleast 800m more to the already 1.5 km long traffic jam on the road. Calculate: 1. The approximate time by which Ms. X must delay her meeting at 9:30 am. 2. The numeric equivalent of the stress the Auto guys caused Ms. X. 3. The number of times Ms. X must curse before she feels better. Question 2: Ms. X is an MBA. She makes Powerpoint presentations for her living. The number of versions of a presentation she makes befo...

One of those days today. Nothing much to say. But honoring the Blogathon! Cheers! Preeks Image Courtesy: Calvin & Hobbes

I strongly believe that Bangalore traffic is a reforming experience. Everyday, I spend around 3 hours driving in traffic, and I emerge a stronger person. The emotional turmoil can be summarized as below: Stage 1: The Beginnings You see all the Red? That's the traffic at 4pm, while I type this post.  I live around 15 km away from office and its a Abhimanyu Chakravyuh of traffic in between, as you can see. The beginnings are always optimistic. I am leaving on time. Peak traffic is not for another hour. I am safe. I will reach home in 47 minutes. All is good. I love my life. I couldn't ask for more. Thank you everyone. I'll see you in 47 minutes. Stage 2: Signs of  Despair I cry because I realize I touched peak traffic hours while I was trying to navigate the lanes near my office. And I am stuck. Why does this happen to me everyday? I never harm anyone. Why me? Just one day of free wheeling traffic. Have I asked for too much? I am a new driver...