Traffucked!

I strongly believe that Bangalore traffic is a reforming experience. Everyday, I spend around 3 hours driving in traffic, and I emerge a stronger person. The emotional turmoil can be summarized as below:

Stage 1: The Beginnings

You see all the Red? That's the traffic at 4pm, while I type this post. 

I live around 15 km away from office and its a Abhimanyu Chakravyuh of traffic in between, as you can see. The beginnings are always optimistic. I am leaving on time. Peak traffic is not for another hour. I am safe. I will reach home in 47 minutes. All is good. I love my life. I couldn't ask for more. Thank you everyone. I'll see you in 47 minutes.


Stage 2: Signs of Despair



I cry because I realize I touched peak traffic hours while I was trying to navigate the lanes near my office. And I am stuck. Why does this happen to me everyday? I never harm anyone. Why me? Just one day of free wheeling traffic. Have I asked for too much? I am a new driver. Why punish me like this? I give way to everyone. Just give me way once.

Stage 3: Reconciliation



Ok so I am stuck. Nothing I can do now. 47 minutes was just a dream. Let it go now. I hope I reach home in less than 2 hours. I guess this was meant to be. Remember how I once forgot to water that friend's plant in school? Karma. 
It always comes back. Its ok. I am strong. I can do this. This is life, man. How can I be bogged down by this? Nope. Wooohooo. I am back in the game.


Stage 4: Philosophy Time




Maybe, this was a means of life teaching me a lesson. Maybe, I have been stuck in "traffic jams" all my life. Maybe, if my life was a highway, I would be a 27 year old Billionaire start up owner like the Ola Cabs guy. What *am* I doing with my life? Is this it? Spending 3 hours on road everyday. Trying to make my own little space on the road. Crying, smiling, crying. I need to change my life. This can't be happening.


Stage 5: Control




That's it. This can't be this way. From tomorrow, I am waking up at 6 am, going for a jog. Early start to the day will change my life. I will leave home at 7:30 am. I will reach early, work hard and leave by 5 pm. I will be home by 6 pm. I will go to the gym.
I will eat only healthy food. I will read for 3 hours everyday. I will never complain again. I am in control of my life, starting from this moment.

Stage 6: Innovation


Why. Why the hell does this happen to me every frikkin day. Maybe there's a root cause analysis to be done here. 
What is the problem? Traffic jam. 
What is the solution? Not being in a Traffic Jam.

Billion Dollar idea. Crane that lifts cars for a premium and puts them on the other side of the traffic jam. 

Can make an app. You book a crane when you are stuck. Crane comes and picks you up. Pay through mobile and you are free in 10 minutes. Stuck again? Book again. It could be called "CraneUp"
How much will someone invest in this? $400 Million? Rs 40 Cr? Have to start exploring.


Stage 7: Desperation



I swear I will never ever be bad to anyone.
I swear I will never judge anyone. Not even when they speak bad English.
I swear I will make new friends.
I swear I will write to the BBMP commissioner. 
I swear to do anything you ask me to.. Just put me out of my misery.

Stage 8: Nirvana


After 2 hours.
I cry again. Its over. The turmoil is over.
I am a new person. I have reformed. I have changed. I have improved.


Peace. Till 16 hours. Same story next day.

If you feel you are stuck in life, just take one drive through Bangalore traffic. You will see life in a new perspective. Trust me. 


Anyway, I have to go now. I have my daily session of all this in an hour. Must beat traffic today.
Yo.

Cheers
Preeks

Comments

  1. So I was working at a place exactly 15 kms from mine till last month. And I don't even drive, I ubered. It took me an hour (because no one reaches B'lore level) and then, I quit.
    Now it takes me 5 mins by bike, or 25 mins by walk. I alternate.
    Do not hate me, I laughed a LOT. :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't hate you. Zen.
      I don't hate you. Zen.
      You are the one missing out on reformation. Me? I look forward to this everyday.
      I don't hate you. Zen.

      Delete
  2. Hehehe I am sorry to be laughing at your miseries. But your stage by stage analysis was superb!! I love how you can breakdown an experience into pieces and present it like a true MBA (your signature style). I wish I could have such clarity.

    Talking about Bangalore traffic - once I was stuff in a traffic with my German boss who is very punctual. We were supposed to meet a prospective client and were 1 hour late (some road construction somewhere, had to take a long detour). He asked me to inform the client and very flippantly I said - it's ok, everybody knows how bad Bangalore traffic is, actually it's just the best excuse to give when you are running late :P I think he wanted to fire me, right there.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! :)
      And lol. I cannot even imagine what Japanese and Germans will go through in Bangalore! :D

      Delete
    2. Oh just to set the record straight - he asked me to inform the client when we were about to get late by 10 minutes :P We ended up reaching there one hour late, he was fuming with embarrassment.

      Delete

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