Judge not, that ye be not judged!

Hi!!!! Suppp guys and gals??? I am cool too. Chillin' out wid frenz! Lolzzzzz..

On a more serious note though, in case you haven't already guessed what I am talking about, do you judge people? I do. ALL THE TIME. And I despise it, I swear. I know it is totally wrong and unwarranted for, given any defense. But I still do it. It has become a natural body mechanism of sorts. I judge people on their English, especially when it as cool as what I wrote above, their pronunciation, their clothes, their language, their attitudes, just about everything, and that, I know, is as unfair as not getting a holiday on Janmashtmi (True Story). 

I am sure people judge me too, which is actually a good thing for my guilt that is mounting up in quintals everyday! Today's exercise, therefore is, to help me assuage my guilt some more, by guiding you to judge me better. 
Basically, I am going by the converse of "Judge not, that ye be not judged!" i.e. judge others and get yourself judged. Yes. I am being philanthropic today, given how deprived I am feeling thanks to that holiday we lost today because of bad company policy. 

What was I saying?

Ah yes. The guilt thing. So, basically, I am going to list down some stuff you don't know about me, dark secrets sorts that will help you judge me better. What you see and is explicit is anyway judged by everyone, but what you don't know is where the real matter lies. So, here we go - My Moment of Truth.

Oh and also, I am being so helpful today, I am actually providing you tips on how best to  use the point against me. 

*The halo just appeared.*

Ready? Chalo.

• I steal Mishri or sugar crystals from the Mouth Freshener trays in restaurants. Stealing is stealing. Small or big. And this is unpardonable, in my humble opinion. So, you know what to judge me on. As a by note, may I add, I also pick up extra tissues while leaving the restaurant, although I always have a pack in my bag?
• I hate dogs. I am sorry, all you lovely canines out there. I know every living being needs to be loved in the same manner. But I can't love you. I am shit scared of you. In my defense, the hatred is mutual. Dogs LOVE barking at me from miles away, and mind you, it is not the good friendly bark, it is the "Aah. She's coming. Get ready to mince her." waala bark. I will not defend myself too much, because that will kill the purpose of the post. So, go ahead and judge me for not loving one and all.
• This one goes out especially for all those whom I judged for their English. I always, always, always get the spelling of "embarrassment" wrong. Thank God for spell check, I survive in this mean world. I know your documents have mistakes even after spell checks, but hey, that's okay. *Raises hands* This is not my day, it is YOUR day.
• I bargain with Autowallas. Even for a matter of small meagre amounts, I haggle, whereas, I don't think twice before splurging a couple of thousands bucks on a nice shirt or books. Of course, I do that to make the Autowalla travel on a meter basis. So, I don' know how you will judge me on that, but you are now armed with the information, surprise me!
• Sigh. Music, I tell ya, is a bummer. Everyone has different tastes and yet I judge ye for liking Westlife and Akon? You deserve better than that. Here, I reveal to you the deepest secret of my music tastes. I liked Westlife, when I was in 7th standard. That's not all. I like Nickelback's Rockstar more than Nirvana's Man Who Sold the World. Any Rock fan will tell you what a major crime that is. I also think Pink Floyd is dark and boring, but I do love Led Zep. I like Alternate Rock more than Rock itself. And here's the biggest takeaway. There is this song, "All Day, All Night", it looks very sophisticated when written in this manner, in reality, well, it is not. It has been crooned by none other than our very own Himesh, the man who is the target of around 15% of my judgements, and horror of all horrors, I like that song! *Runs before you throw eggs, though I deserve it*
• I am a social recluse. I am not a misanthrope or anything. I just don't like leaving the comfort of home very often, especially on weekends. What is there to judge in that? You decide.
• I also hate Social Networking. With all my heart and soul. Which explains, why I am not FB, Orkut or MySpace. I am on Twitter only and only because very few people I know personally, are active on Twitter. I am quite pathetic that way. Don't defend me by calling Blogging social networking, because that is not entirely true, considering I don't know anyone here and the closest friend who blogs does not leave comments here probably because it takes a lot of hard work to type. *@What's in a Name: Girl? Comments?* Yenniway, you guys are my best judges. So go ahead, bring out your meters and judge me for being "anti-social" or whatever.
• I did not like Erich Segal's Love Story. I thought it was too short and on top of that cliched. "To Kill a Mocking Bird" in my opinion is a good book, but need not be harped on as a masterpiece. There. I said it. All those who hate me because I tease them for liking Chetan Bhagat's books, you can laugh and snicker for my bad taste in books.
• I loved Scarlett's character in  Gone with The Wind. Absolutely adore her! All those moral police out there who say she was bad, I disagree vehemently. That is a dark side of me. And considering I find it worrying too sometimes, it is quite okay if you judge me bad for this one.

That's about all I can tell you now. More secrets later.
So, now are we on an equal footing? The comments section is open, starting NOW. Go, judge me.

And I will now waltz around in office judging others, sans any guilt! Yay!

@Girl who just walked by wearing golden slippers and shouting, "Did you went there?": I am coming to judge you, hang in there tight!

Signing out,

A much guilt free, happy

Edited to Add: Hullo? You people are bad judges. I tell you to judge me, and you are telling me how you also share these attributes with me? Hadd Ho Gayi. Please judge properly. Wokay?