Honest Interviews

(This post was a Tangy Tuesday Pick! You can see the whole list here - http://blog.blogadda.com/2016/02/02/tangy-tuesday-picks-february-2-2016-weekly-blogs-indian-bloggers-blogadda)


This, as per me, is how interviews with me should be like:

Interviewer (Ir): Hi. Welcome here. Great to meet you.

Me: Hi. Please take me in..

Ir: So, tell me about yourself.

Me: I am a nice person. Most times. 
Bangalore traffic gets the worst out of me. I curse while driving. 
I was a geek in school and am not great at sports. Some may say that makes me lack the sports spirit. I can't say they are wrong.
I can be competitive as hell. Sometimes, that means I compete even for silly things like who ate first. If I win, I do a rain dance to a song that goes, "I won, I won, I won.", while pumping my fist in the air.
Also, I am a sore loser. Sometimes, when I lose to Sherlock in Poker or Jenga or even 10 Questions, I cry and threaten not to make dinner.

I work very hard, when the work is interesting. When it's not, I just delay and delay and delay and delay till the person who asked for the work forgets about it. 
But, mostly, I am a nice person.

Ir: Ohk. Tell me a weakness. And don't try to mask your strengths as weaknesses.

Me: I won't. Bhindi is my weakness. I have a undefinable weakness for bhindi. To the extent that if we are working towards a deadline and someone dangles Bhindi fry in front of me, I will abandon the work, go eat the bhindi and then come back to work. Yes, even if we miss the deadline.

Ir: Hmmm. What about a strength?

Me:  I would like to say my love for French Fries here. You can put me in any situation, in any country, in any corner of the world, under any amount of duress, any amount of stress. As long as there is French Fries, you won't hear as much as a peep from me. I will happily live. In fact, thrive.

Me: What makes you think you are fit for a role in Marketing?

Ie: I am not. My dream role is one where I can sleep, read, watch TV, read some more, cook good food, laze around, travel and buy a house on a beach. If there is any opening for that, let me know. Else, I will make myself fit for Marketing.

Ir: Why do you want to join us?

Me: You can pay. I will join.

Ir: Any questions for us?
Me: Do you have napping rooms in office? How many leaves per year? Do you have Saturdays off? How good is the canteen on a scale of 1 to 10? What do you think about the French Court ruling that employees should not work beyond 5 pm? Can I read in office? What is the average number of versions you get people to make in their presentations? When was the last time you spontaneously declared a holiday?

Ir: You have been selected!

If only all interviewers could appreciate honesty.