After much thought, I have come to the conclusion that if and when I have a kid, I do not want him/her to take up conventional, boring professions like engineering and management and medicine. I want my child to take up nothing less than the most powerful job in the world.
That's right, people. My kid is going to be the President of a Resident Welfare Association.
Nothing less. I dream big.
He will be that person who will wake up one morning and decide on a whim that no one will be allowed to enter the society gate in cars or on two feet. Figure out a way to bypass this rule, or pay a fine.
He will be that person who will decide that only losers would want to spend a holiday sitting at home calmly and relaxing. The cool people would come to a loud, blaring carnival with random Bollywood dance numbers playing. Of course, they will also pay for it.
Make no mistake. It will be he who will make 40 year olds, already struggling with crying kids, dwindling efficiency at work and a fledgling mid-life crisis, come grovelling for a red garbage bin at 11 in the morning, because hey, red is my kid's favorite color and garbage is cool only in red garbage bins and the office people don't start working before 11 am and leave by 4 pm, because unki marzi.
He will come up with the brilliant idea that climbing up stairs is great exercise. For maids, and all other visitors. And hence, all these people cannot use the elevators. Elevators can be used only by Owners. The rest will be fit and healthy. They can use the elevator, of course. If they pay for it.
And of course, he will make up all kind of random rules, which will mean nothing to anyone. And if they flout them, he can make them pay fines.
Its such a fool proof business.
I wish I was the President of a Resident Welfare Association.
Sigh.
That's right, people. My kid is going to be the President of a Resident Welfare Association.
Nothing less. I dream big.
He will be that person who will wake up one morning and decide on a whim that no one will be allowed to enter the society gate in cars or on two feet. Figure out a way to bypass this rule, or pay a fine.
He will be that person who will decide that only losers would want to spend a holiday sitting at home calmly and relaxing. The cool people would come to a loud, blaring carnival with random Bollywood dance numbers playing. Of course, they will also pay for it.
Make no mistake. It will be he who will make 40 year olds, already struggling with crying kids, dwindling efficiency at work and a fledgling mid-life crisis, come grovelling for a red garbage bin at 11 in the morning, because hey, red is my kid's favorite color and garbage is cool only in red garbage bins and the office people don't start working before 11 am and leave by 4 pm, because unki marzi.
He will come up with the brilliant idea that climbing up stairs is great exercise. For maids, and all other visitors. And hence, all these people cannot use the elevators. Elevators can be used only by Owners. The rest will be fit and healthy. They can use the elevator, of course. If they pay for it.
And of course, he will make up all kind of random rules, which will mean nothing to anyone. And if they flout them, he can make them pay fines.
Its such a fool proof business.
I wish I was the President of a Resident Welfare Association.
Sigh.
Oh! No. Elevators only for owners. What?? How do they come up with these rules. And for what? save energy? Aargh.
ReplyDeleteOh it's fairly common in Mumbai. Quite sad actually! :(
DeleteWhere are you living! What is this, hitler's reign? :O
ReplyDeleteThats how good societies are made, my dear. Hitler ke zamaane ke jailor types! :P
DeleteElevators only for owners? Unbelievable!
ReplyDeleteTrue in Mumbai! I should take a pic next time! :D
DeleteHahaha! This is funnier than our rules! How many floors do you have?
ReplyDeleteBy the way, why wait for the kid? You can give it a shot - would love to see the rules then :D
10 floors!
DeleteAlso, I am pretty sure I am banned from RWAs all over India. I am one of those anti rwa who never turns up for meetings and pretend to be busy with my phone if I run into someone in the elevator! :P
Nice piece of writing.Check out my blog Khyatijain.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteThanks! Will check! :)
DeleteYour society ka Chairman/secretary (correct me if this is not the watered down version of the designation he bears) deserves to be in power in North Korea. What a pain in the Tundra region (read ass).
ReplyDeleteGreat to see a post after ages.
Cheers,
CRD
Agree!
DeleteAnd yeah, it's hard to write. Lagta hai blogathon is the only way