H for Household Chores

I ask almost all married people this question. 

"How do you share the chores at home?"

After much analysis and now, personal experience, I have come to the following conclusion:

Personally, I do feel that not having filled water bottles at the time of need is a huge crisis point in one's life and the fact that someone takes lead to do that is life-saving. I also love the pride with which most men respond to this question. 

"Oh, I fill the bottles."

"I also manage the nuclear plants in the country. And the switch that controls the whole country's electricity."

It's really cute. 

That said, I have also heard this a lot:

And I don't know why. It's not like there's some top secret work that's being done in the kitchen. 

"Sir. Onion has been dispatched to cutting board. Over and Out."

"Onion received. Tears being shed. Over and Out."

Frankly, if this was the case, I think men would handle the Kitchen much better, given their experience with mindless video games where they are made to feel like Assassins and Army guys.

I am not a feminist. But I find this discussion amusing because it clearly seems like a severe case of Pooch ke toh dekho. If you were at work and noone asked you to work, you would be happy to just login everyday, have coffee, meet people, eat out, browse social media, play a few games on your phone and come back home, with a fat pay cheque. You would not go to the boss and ask for work. 

If by chance you did ask, and your boss says, "Hell no. You don't know jackshit about how to convert random statements into beautiful powerpoints and play around with numbers on Excel. I know how to do it and I am going to do it forever.", wouldn't you just thank him for being awesome and go back to doing nothing and taking home a salary?

Same story. We hang on. We clutch for those duties.

I think the Ariel Share the Load ad is in the right direction. I mean this one:

But realistically speaking, if the girl were to write back to her father, it would go like this:

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Dear Dad,

I love you for this. Thanks. But remember:

1. Separate the delicate clothes from the rest. Especially the silks. If you don't, you would find yourself buying expensive gifts for Mom.

2. Dry the clothes on time. And once you put it out for drying, don't forget they are still our clothes. Someone does need to get them back inside.

3. Once clothes are inside, there is no rule that they have to lie on the bed for 3 days. You can fold them immediately too.

4. Please, for god's sake, do not mix socks with all clothes.

5. Powder. Use Ariel, be generous, but remember, these things don't replenish on their own. If you realize this when the powder gets over, remember, I would be sitting at my house and Mom in her sofa, both echoing the same sentiment of "I told you so."

There's a lot more to write. About fabric softener, the dhobi, how to dry clothes the right way, how to handle inner wear, how to check pockets, how to salvage clothes when you forget to check pockets and one lone tissue paper causes havoc, how to separate colored clothes, how to to assume that red and pink can be put in together, how to remember that crushed bandhini chunnis are meant to be that way and shouldn't be given for iron where he will clear out all creases and make it look as neat as a sari. 

I might have to write a whole manual and send you. Actually, you know what. It's ok. Mom will manage. Thanks for the gesture though.

Love,

Daughter.

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Women need to change more than men, in my opinion.

From tomorrow, my husband is in charge of the house.

Cheers

Preeks