U for U

Datz rite. Im talkin abt u.

U dint get it?? Wat? U dont know English or wat?

How come you dunno u? U means You. Took me 1.5 milliseconds to write dat 3 letter word. Never make me do dat again. K?

While we r at it, pliss also dont tell me 2 write long letters to u. U know I hate it. 4 a while now, I havnt written, as u wlda guessed. Who has the time dese days??? 

I dunno why u haf such a problem wid ma fine English. I am jus savin time. 

Y write 3 letters when u can get away wid 1. If I send 50 Whatsapps in a day, I save approx 55 seconds. 55 seconds. Dats the difference between Usain Bolt and the unknown guy who came second. Dats why I save all dis time.

Wat do I do wid ma extra time, u ask? Well. Fb. Twitter. Snapchat. A lot of cool stuff. Stuff u dont know about coz u r old now. Yah. Dats rite. Old.

In ma free time, Ive started translating some of the complicated English u oldies use, into simple formats. Some day ur kids will thank me. The day when u whatsapp dem and dey open a dictionary to understand wat u wrote to dem.

Dat day is not far. Newayz.

I gotta go. Already wasted time talkin to u.

If u wanna learn some of ma cool English, read dis poem below. I translated it for some 10th standard kids last nite. Might help you 2.

Dis is gonna hurt, jus a li'l bit by Ogden Nash

1 thin' I like les dan mst things is sittin inna dentis chair wid
ma mouth wide open
N dat I'll neva hafta do it again is a hope dat I'm against hope hopin
Coz some tortures r physical n som r mental
But d 1 dats both is dental.

Der's more, but I donno. I don feel like doin it now.

Have fun yo.

Cheers u.

(I am scared to run a spell check on this one.)


  1. Eef U run a spelchek on dees wun, U weel fayc embaresmaint. aai sujest U sent eet too a profeshunal spelcheker. Aai weel charje ownly 1 rupee pur ward. Butt pliss, aai weel taik kesh ownly

    Urs corectly,
    See Aar Dee


  2. Like should have been lyk, some should have been sum and again should have been agen!!

    I don't get how people can type like that still. How difficult is it to turn on word prediction and select the right word?!

    1. I need to learn more, clearly! :D

  3. "MA" or "MAH"
    Irony is that it's the same amount of letters, or even more as 'my'. I am old.

    1. Exactly. How much time does one really save?!

  4. I am disappointed that there was no mention of 'Lyf' - you know like 'Mah Lyf mah rulzzzzz' also, where iz the cool z in place of s, hello?

    1. Haha! You are judging my judgement! :D
      Sorry. I am not good at this language. Need to learn more! :D

  5. Ouch, my eyes. Texting me like is, is a sure shot way of earning an eternity of "i consider you to have the intellect of a worm" attitude from me.

    N hW dO U XpLaiN peePals tYPin LyK dIS? I BelIEvE dEY sUD B sHiPPed oFf 2 aN aSYluM.

    1. I cAn'T eXpLaIn ThIs. ToO mUcH eFfOrT tO eVeN tYpE lIkE tHiS. o.O

  6. And that's why I don't talk to kids under the age of 25 or adults you think they are 25.

    Dnt bcum lk dem n mk dis prt of ur lfe. Coz den I cnt read u Coz I m old. K?

    1. Lol. Den Ill also hafta lrn 2 rite lyk dat first.


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