U for U

Datz rite. Im talkin abt u.

U dint get it?? Wat? U dont know English or wat?

How come you dunno u? U means You. Took me 1.5 milliseconds to write dat 3 letter word. Never make me do dat again. K?

While we r at it, pliss also dont tell me 2 write long letters to u. U know I hate it. 4 a while now, I havnt written, as u wlda guessed. Who has the time dese days??? 

I dunno why u haf such a problem wid ma fine English. I am jus savin time. 

Y write 3 letters when u can get away wid 1. If I send 50 Whatsapps in a day, I save approx 55 seconds. 55 seconds. Dats the difference between Usain Bolt and the unknown guy who came second. Dats why I save all dis time.

Wat do I do wid ma extra time, u ask? Well. Fb. Twitter. Snapchat. A lot of cool stuff. Stuff u dont know about coz u r old now. Yah. Dats rite. Old.

In ma free time, Ive started translating some of the complicated English u oldies use, into simple formats. Some day ur kids will thank me. The day when u whatsapp dem and dey open a dictionary to understand wat u wrote to dem.

Dat day is not far. Newayz.

I gotta go. Already wasted time talkin to u.

If u wanna learn some of ma cool English, read dis poem below. I translated it for some 10th standard kids last nite. Might help you 2.

Dis is gonna hurt, jus a li'l bit by Ogden Nash

1 thin' I like les dan mst things is sittin inna dentis chair wid
ma mouth wide open
N dat I'll neva hafta do it again is a hope dat I'm against hope hopin
Coz some tortures r physical n som r mental
But d 1 dats both is dental.


Der's more, but I donno. I don feel like doin it now.

Have fun yo.

Cheers u.


Preeks
(I am scared to run a spell check on this one.)

Comments

  1. Eef U run a spelchek on dees wun, U weel fayc embaresmaint. aai sujest U sent eet too a profeshunal spelcheker. Aai weel charje ownly 1 rupee pur ward. Butt pliss, aai weel taik kesh ownly

    Urs corectly,
    See Aar Dee

    CRD - SCRIPTED IN SANITY

    ReplyDelete
  2. Like should have been lyk, some should have been sum and again should have been agen!!

    I don't get how people can type like that still. How difficult is it to turn on word prediction and select the right word?!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I need to learn more, clearly! :D

      Delete
  3. "MA" or "MAH"
    *shudder*
    Irony is that it's the same amount of letters, or even more as 'my'. I am old.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly. How much time does one really save?!

      Delete
  4. I am disappointed that there was no mention of 'Lyf' - you know like 'Mah Lyf mah rulzzzzz' also, where iz the cool z in place of s, hello?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha! You are judging my judgement! :D
      Sorry. I am not good at this language. Need to learn more! :D

      Delete
  5. Ouch, my eyes. Texting me like is, is a sure shot way of earning an eternity of "i consider you to have the intellect of a worm" attitude from me.

    N hW dO U XpLaiN peePals tYPin LyK dIS? I BelIEvE dEY sUD B sHiPPed oFf 2 aN aSYluM.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I cAn'T eXpLaIn ThIs. ToO mUcH eFfOrT tO eVeN tYpE lIkE tHiS. o.O

      Delete
  6. And that's why I don't talk to kids under the age of 25 or adults you think they are 25.

    Dnt bcum lk dem n mk dis prt of ur lfe. Coz den I cnt read u Coz I m old. K?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol. Den Ill also hafta lrn 2 rite lyk dat first.

      Delete

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